Habit 1: Be Proactive - Labels and Self-Talk

This is a thought experiment a life coach taught me once:

First, imagine a being in a situation that you don't like. Notice how you feel and what your thoughts are about being in that situation. Then imagine a situation that would be a treat to be in, like being handed (and this was her example) $10,000 to spend in any way you wanted for this study about how people spend money. Again, notice the thoughts and feelings.

Yeah, that second one sounds pretty good, doesn't it? Yesterday, I was at the 3rd Annual Ultimate Networking Conference held by YourLocalCity.com and the event put that thought experiment to the forefront again. I listened to people in a variety of businesses talk about how to successfully promote yourself, and gear yourself toward success. The idea of the controversial "Law of Attraction" (see Wikipedia and other sources for details), which stresses that what we think and how we think about it influences what happens, was mentioned several times.

As a scientifically-minded person, I do like to see hard evidence, but I also watch how others are acting (which is a form of data). It's already been established that we can choose our response to a situation, and we can see that people like working with people who are confident without being arrogant. The "I can do it" attitude is part of being proactive, and it's a label in itself. It boils down, to me, to one question to ask our respective selves: "What am I doing that is preventing me from being successful, and what can I do/think to get what I want?"

Of course, you have to know what you want. A word that more than one person urged attendees to eliminate from our vocabularies is "basically." You want to be as specific as possible; that makes things clearer to you and to those around you. It helps you project a confident attitude, and may make you even more enjoyable to be around.

Habit 1: Be Proactive - Word useage and paradigms

A huge aspect of proactivity is the language we use on a daily basis. Do we say such things like "I can't" or "I must/have to" or "if only" or "I'd be happy when I have..." in our thoughts? This is a sign of a mindset that pushes us toward a victim pathology - letting things happen to us rather than be the primary actor in our own lives. It also prevents us from unleashing the maximum potential of our muses; not taking responsibility for making our own destiny is surrendering power to chance - unnecessarily.

So what does being proactive mean for writers? I think it means being open to creating new ideas, trying writing in a different style, using a different way of capturing your thoughts, or trying something related to whatever you're working on. I bet that every writer has read that kind of advice in multiple writing books, and in multiple ways. Now, reading all of this advice is proactive, but it takes another step to actually implement the methods. I can't think of how many times I read something potentially useful and didn't start using it, or perhaps started and stopped with something. I'm already restarting with the idea of Morning Pages from Julia Camerson's The Writing Diet and getting current with my feelings.

Everything I've read about Habit 1 suggests that being proactive means seizing opportunities, and turning problems into opportunities to be creative. Sound hard? Well, it's a matter of how you see the world. If you assume that you can't break through writer's block on your own, then you're setting yourself up for that. But if you assume that you can by being creative, then the odds are more in your favor. My favorite poster is all about how we make our own destiny by our choices. The tropical scene is a bonus.

Upcoming

Life has been a weird journey lately, and I started studying The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People to help change my direction. It dawned on me that my observations would make great posts, so practically all of my posts will be about applying the 7 Habits to writing practices.

The first post on Habit 1: Be Proactive will come as soon as I feel the post is ready for publication. Look for it within the next week or so.