Habit 1: Be Proactive - Labels and Self-Talk

This is a thought experiment a life coach taught me once:

First, imagine a being in a situation that you don't like. Notice how you feel and what your thoughts are about being in that situation. Then imagine a situation that would be a treat to be in, like being handed (and this was her example) $10,000 to spend in any way you wanted for this study about how people spend money. Again, notice the thoughts and feelings.

Yeah, that second one sounds pretty good, doesn't it? Yesterday, I was at the 3rd Annual Ultimate Networking Conference held by YourLocalCity.com and the event put that thought experiment to the forefront again. I listened to people in a variety of businesses talk about how to successfully promote yourself, and gear yourself toward success. The idea of the controversial "Law of Attraction" (see Wikipedia and other sources for details), which stresses that what we think and how we think about it influences what happens, was mentioned several times.

As a scientifically-minded person, I do like to see hard evidence, but I also watch how others are acting (which is a form of data). It's already been established that we can choose our response to a situation, and we can see that people like working with people who are confident without being arrogant. The "I can do it" attitude is part of being proactive, and it's a label in itself. It boils down, to me, to one question to ask our respective selves: "What am I doing that is preventing me from being successful, and what can I do/think to get what I want?"

Of course, you have to know what you want. A word that more than one person urged attendees to eliminate from our vocabularies is "basically." You want to be as specific as possible; that makes things clearer to you and to those around you. It helps you project a confident attitude, and may make you even more enjoyable to be around.